Me.. "Do you do a cider?"
"No sir"
I stare at the drinks menu.. "Really? Cos it says here you do"
"Oh you mean like scotch?"
"No, really no. It's made from apples"
"Like the fruit?"
"Exactly"
"No. We only have apple cider".
"Oookay, yes. That's the one I'm pointing at."

She looks vexed. "Sir, you know that's a hard cider?"
"Harder than what, I don't know what that means"
A long pause.

"Would you like that in a glass sir?"
"In the bottle is fine".
"A bottle?"
"??"
"It comes in a box, sir".
"I give up, Diet Coke please".